Monday, January 9, 2012

How To Reach Marital Bliss: Part 1

I realized that if I started my review of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" with my post about make up sex, I would be getting ahead of myself and the significance of the book.  I want to make sure that you get as much out of this review as I can provide, so I must prime you for maximum absorption.  I'm not even going to pretend that some of the information isn't hard to swallow for our generations, some of you may even think I'm crazy, but if you truly want to have a "marriage" and not just a roommate, then their is no arguing the logic in this book.

To make it more palatable, I will try to break it up and put my own spin on it.  Not that the book was anything but fabulous, I just realize that it's pretty heavy and to be honest, mind-blowing.  Yes, I said MIND-BLOWING.  Did I know this when I picked up the book? No. Did I really expect to take Dr. Laura seriously? Absolutely not.  Did I think that this book would improve my marriage? Nope.  Is Dr. Laura now my new idol? Hell yes.  Will this book also improve your marriage? Without a doubt in my mind.

Shall we start with the title? I must admit, I interpreted the title as a sarcastic nod towards "empowering women" and freeing them from the chains of home life.  Boy, was I wrong.  Imagine my surprise when I realized that the title meant EXACTLY what was stated.  But wait- I thought that the feminist movement taught us that we were to be treated equally and weren't supposed to be S.A.H.M's waiting on our husband hand and foot...You're telling me that even though we had a "movement" we STILL aren't happy? Hmmm.....

Perhaps a "joke" from the book, titled "The Perfect Husband", will help us with perspective:

A new Perfect Husband Shopping Center opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to find the perfect husband. It was laid out on five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended the floors. The only rule was that once you open the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you go up a floor, you can't go back down except to leave the store.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the store to find a man to marry. The first-floor sign reads: "These men have high-paying jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say, "Well, that's wonderful, but..." and wonder what's on the next floor.

The second-floor sign reads: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"Hmmmm," say the girls. "Wonder what's further up?"

The third-floor sign reads: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and will help with the housework."

"Wow!!!" say the women. "Very tempting.... but there's more further up!!!"

The fourth-floor sign reads: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, will help with the housework, and are great in bed."

"Oh mercy me. But just think!!! What must be awaiting us further up?!" say the women. So up to the fifth floor they go.

The fifth-floor sign reads: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."

Quit laughing- you know it's true....
Fiiiine.  There's no harm in having your chuckle, as I did, and then I HAD to read it to Will.  Go ahead show your significant other.  They will be impressed. Promise.  They will also be impressed that you are interested in their care and feeding.  They have been fed the same feminist crap that we have, so the fact that there is a book solely to teach us to take care of them is unfathomable to them.

So... to recap part one:
This book really IS to teach us "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"
The feminist movement simply confused our already conflicted ideas of marriage.
Men are just as lost in marriage as we are, because marriage ain't what it used to be.
We are impossible to please.

Optional Homework:
If you are single- 
Rejoice that you are learning this BEFORE you have settled for a guy that doesn't deserve the fruits of this book.
If you are a girlfriend or fiance`- 
Ponder your relationship and what makes you believe in it.  Are you willing to take care of this man (and in return will he take care of you) for the rest of your lives?
If you are married- 
You obviously committed to your husband (and he to you), so you need to remember the reasons that you both chose to do this.  Whether you are in a good place in your marriage or not- it is important to never forget the foundation for the relationship.

Sit down with your significant other while on a date, over dinner or even curled up before bed and list out the things that made you fall in love with each other.  You could even make it a game by putting a time limit or certain know how men like a challenge ;)

Bonus Bonus:
Find a copy of the book and follow along!  You can find it online, obviously, but I checked my copy out from the library until I found a copy at a thrift store.  There is also another along the same lines, but I haven't found one to purchase yet.

I can't explain how excited I am to continue sharing this with you...I feel like I am doing a service to society by reiterating Dr. Laura's ideas.  I hope you enjoy this half as much as I'm going to!  Maybe we could even do a Link Up of the "Love Lists" if enough of you are interested...Could be my first one <3


Renee said...

Lol!! That joke is so true!! Time to head to the library i think!!

lilmoomoo said...

I've been wanting to read this book!!
I think I'm gonna have to get it and read along with you...
wonder if we have it at our little southern town's library.
I'm willing to bet money that we do ;)

Seriously. I'm looking for it this weekend!!


P!nky said...

That sounds like a very interesting read. I've been dating my boo for 1.5 years now and there has been talk about marriage. I can't wait to read more about the book on your blog.

Hope your week is going well!


Heather said...

you've enticed me to read!!! i hope they have it available for the kindle!!

Erin said...

Me, I'm throwing up red flags and saying you can't reduce the entire feminist movement to what she's trying to pigeon hole it as, but I'm not surprised to see that she's making that argument. That's a turn-off for me right there.

Unknown said...

you've inspired me. i think i'll have to go out and get this book.
i'm your newest follower by the way!
i'd love for you to come visit me at


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