On My Heart: Humility

Yesterday was the BEST day off.
When Will asked me what I was going to do on my day off, I was happy to have "absolutely nothing" on the top of my to-do list. I was able to blog, answer emails, and work on some buttons/graphics. ALL from the comfort of my bed.

One important thing I did, was spill my guts write this here little post.
It was actually much longer (and much more in depth), but I realized that the writing itself was therapeutic and there was no need to rehash the entire story on le blog. I know I know, we all love the juicy stuff, and still...I decided less is more.
{FYI: This is not a pity party. Just showing that we all struggle}

Whether we are in the real world or blog world, we all face judgement and unkind situations.

If I'm quiet, I'm a snob.
If I'm vocal, I'm full of myself.
If I'm honest, I'm a b*tch.
If I'm nice, I'm fake.
You know the drill.

When I'm feeling weak, I wonder if it really is me.
Lately, I've been feeling especially weak.
I think it's because I had gotten to the point of this deployment where I felt like Will's homecoming was too good to be true. I've been without him for so long that his homecoming seemed like a fantasy.

Suffering in silence was my first mistake.
 I was allowing my thoughts to play tricks on me, and since I was essentially alone, I was left to my own devices. I think that with the combination of feeling alone, feeling hurt, and a little insanity brought on by this deployment, I fell victim to my own insecurities.

The last week has been spent doing a lot of introspection.
I have gone over the people that I have allowed in my life, my work situations, and what my future holds. It was actually inspired by a few negative events, but has turned out incredibly positive. I think I must have simply been due for one of those life altering events that give us direction. What inspired this, is not important because each of us comes to different road blocks. What is important, is that we all learn that sometimes, those road blocks are a wake up call that show us we need to redirect our course.

Source: inspiringshortstories.org via Janna on Pinterest

Seriously...It's like that pin was meant for me.

It came to me in all of it's Pinterest glory and inspiration, reminding me that this is what life is all about. It's filled with ups, downs, and lessons to be learned.
How we maneuver through those lessons are what defines who we are.

Source: perceptioniseverything.blogspot.com via Janna on Pinterest

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What matters to me, is that I have a handful of amazing people in my life, my husband as my rock, and now I have all of you for support and inspiration. I have yet to figure out what my final destination will be, but I know that I am on the right path.

Source: happiestaretheprettiest.tumblr.com via Britt on Pinterest

A few lessons in closing:
Everyone is going to make their own opinions about each individual, so all you can do is put your best foot forward, admit when you are wrong, and ask for forgiveness when you should.
Always remember that YOU don't want to be misjudged, so please remember that there are always two sides of a story and that you should simply treat others how you would like to be treated.

Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned, and the hardest, was that I'm not perfect, I can fall short, and I can make a bad decision or judgement just like ANYONE else. People expect a lot from me and I expect even more, which is why I needed to learn this lesson. A lesson in humility.