Thursday, September 27, 2012

On My Heart: Humility

Yesterday was the BEST day off.
When Will asked me what I was going to do on my day off, I was happy to have "absolutely nothing" on the top of my to-do list. I was able to blog, answer emails, and work on some buttons/graphics. ALL from the comfort of my bed.

One important thing I did, was spill my guts write this here little post.
It was actually much longer (and much more in depth), but I realized that the writing itself was therapeutic and there was no need to rehash the entire story on le blog. I know I know, we all love the juicy stuff, and still...I decided less is more.
{FYI: This is not a pity party. Just showing that we all struggle}

Whether we are in the real world or blog world, we all face judgement and unkind situations.

If I'm quiet, I'm a snob.
If I'm vocal, I'm full of myself.
If I'm honest, I'm a b*tch.
If I'm nice, I'm fake.
You know the drill.

When I'm feeling weak, I wonder if it really is me.
Lately, I've been feeling especially weak.
I think it's because I had gotten to the point of this deployment where I felt like Will's homecoming was too good to be true. I've been without him for so long that his homecoming seemed like a fantasy.

Suffering in silence was my first mistake.
 I was allowing my thoughts to play tricks on me, and since I was essentially alone, I was left to my own devices. I think that with the combination of feeling alone, feeling hurt, and a little insanity brought on by this deployment, I fell victim to my own insecurities.

The last week has been spent doing a lot of introspection.
I have gone over the people that I have allowed in my life, my work situations, and what my future holds. It was actually inspired by a few negative events, but has turned out incredibly positive. I think I must have simply been due for one of those life altering events that give us direction. What inspired this, is not important because each of us comes to different road blocks. What is important, is that we all learn that sometimes, those road blocks are a wake up call that show us we need to redirect our course.

Seriously...It's like that pin was meant for me.
It came to me in all of it's Pinterest glory and inspiration, reminding me that this is what life is all about. It's filled with ups, downs, and lessons to be learned.
How we maneuver through those lessons are what defines who we are.


What matters to me, is that I have a handful of amazing people in my life, my husband as my rock, and now I have all of you for support and inspiration. I have yet to figure out what my final destination will be, but I know that I am on the right path.

A few lessons in closing:
Everyone is going to make their own opinions about each individual, so all you can do is put your best foot forward, admit when you are wrong, and ask for forgiveness when you should.
Always remember that YOU don't want to be misjudged, so please remember that there are always two sides of a story and that you should simply treat others how you would like to be treated.

Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned, and the hardest, was that I'm not perfect, I can fall short, and I can make a bad decision or judgement just like ANYONE else. People expect a lot from me and I expect even more, which is why I needed to learn this lesson. A lesson in humility.


Ms. Cathy said...

Such a wise post, girl. I loved reading every bit of it. Great pins and uplifting quotes. You totally got this, by the way. You are strong and will be great!

Cathy Trails

SimplyHeather said...

Aww - well you're coming to realizations about things which only means things will get better from there. Stay strong girl, or at least as strong as you can! & smile! Just because life is to short to not! Feel better <3

xoxo Heather

Jenn said...

I think it's telling of what a great/amazing person you are in that you can reflect on things like this. It's hard to admit when you're wrong, or when you have things to work on, but the reality of it is, we ALL have things to work on. It doesn't make us better or worse than someone else.
If you ever need to vent/talk, I'm here for you!! :)

Jamie said...

Hang in there. Deployment is really hard as us naagating life when you're missing your other half. You can do this. Xoxo

Nikki said...

Girl you are strong! No one is perfect and the only thing we can do is strive to be the best version of ourself we can be. Let people judge you. They have no idea what you are going through or what you have been through and if they have the balls to thing less of you screw them and let them move on with their lives.


P!nky said...

What a strong and reflective post. That took a lot of courage to write, but I already knew you were courageous!

Keep your faith my lovey, I'm sending you some extra prayers and big squeeze. LOVE YOU!


Sam said...

Hang in there, Janna! My friend's husband was deployed for a year & it was tough on her. She made it through & so will you!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

What a thoughtful post. I'm so glad writing the original one was so therapeutic for you! You got this, girl!

Megan Wadsworth said...

Love!!! So excited this part of your Army journey is almost over (I've been seeing the signs over S Academy for the advance party!) Been thinking about you and how excited you must be getting! Things are totally on the upswing for you, I can feel it! I'm 2 deployments down with another looming, I think you did absolutely AMAZING!!!

L said...

I LOVE this post friend! I feel like I totally needed this post today!
Thank you for being willing to share! Your wisdom shows in not sharing all the details behind why you wrote it =) They are powerful words just as they are!
Much Love!

The Pink Growl said...

Great lesson! We all need to hear this sometimes!

Hilary said...

Wake up calls are so important. At first brush, all you can see is the negative but when you turn them into positive, you grow that much more. XO

Anonymous said...

This was a wonderfully insightful post, sweet lady. We all think you are perfect, so thanks for being real with us! I'm actually working on a post right now about just that - being real.

You are such a special person, Janna. With so much to offer, even through the imperfections and doubts.

All At Once said...

Life is hard, my love. Not everyday can be great and the days that aren't make the other days even more special. I struggle daily... and while i'm not perfect, I have to remind myself that I am doing all that I can. You are such a wonderful woman and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I admire your strength, determination, and confidence. I know there are so many people who feel the same way about you as I do. I am so proud of the person you are and so grateful to call you a friend. love you

Elizabeth M said...

Going through a deployment is SO hard. Please don't suffer in silence! Without having other women to talk to that were going through what i was I would have gone crazy last year. It's really hard to be around people who don't understand, some days are just hard, and it's not for any reason other than you feel really really alone.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me... I've been there sister, it sucks but it only makes your relationship stronger. You will get through it and he will come home. And believe me, there is nothing better than when he comes home <3

Kate @ Daffodils said...

SUCH an important lesson and quality. Humility must be found and done in all things and is a trait I hope to raise my boys with. Thanks for sharing your heart!

My-cliffnotes said...

I'm pretty sure you're fabulous, love you long time pretty. Chin up, wait boobies up ;)

Sami said...

I hope everything is okay doll! Keep your head up, I know you will make the right decision whatever it is :) Can't wait to catch up this weekend!!

Elle Sees said...

ok i need to copy all of these quotes!!

Nicole said...

I'm losing my mind b/c I'd have sworn I commented on this yesterday, but anyway... good words of advice and it is sad that people make such snap judgements!

Niken said...

you ARE wonderful. preach it sister!

Lisa said...

Amazing post! So much of it is stuff that goes through my head all the time. I love the pin on the paper bag. We all need to post that on our mirrors and read it everyday. Thanks for the inspiration!

Katie said...

definitely a good lesson to learn. and one that I think we'll be learning our whole lives!

Georgina Castellucci said...

I really love this post and it truly hits home. We have those times of doubt and even mild (or not so mild) depression. The important thing is that we realize how darn lucky we are and are able to pull ourselves out of it. You really are inspiring Janna and I love your posts. I wish you the very best (because I believe it is what you deserve) and know you will be MORE than fine. You're a fighter xo

Kelly { Messy.Dirty.Hair.} said...

You're so strong! Beautiful post. I really enjoyed it. If only more people could have this type of outlook. So glad we've had each other through these crazy weeks!

Amanda said...

Such a relatable post! I'm glad you do so much self evaluating (another reason why we're so similar!).

Dani @ Inspire Motivate Love said...

So, I've been having a few introspective moments exactly like this for a little while now. Evaluating my life and the people in it. Let me tell you, whole heartedly thinking about who is in my life and what they actually do for me has been an eye opener.
Here's to moving forward with a clear mind and open, full heart. <3

Nicole said...

It's ok to be sad sometimes, but you have shown you're a strong person by being able to admit these things and pulling yourself out of it. It's not easy, and never be afraid to ask for help!

Great insight-I love it when you post things like this. Not only does it help you, but gets other people thinking too ;)

Holly said...

Love this, lady. You're right, we're not perfect and sometimes a lesson in humility is what we need when we're on the wrong path. The most important thing is that we learn from these lessons and move forward on the path we're meant to be on. You've got a great perspective it seems on your situation. Keep your head up, girl :) And you're right, we shouldn't judge what we don't understand, everyone is fighting their own battle.

Jess said...

LOVE this post! Self-reflection is soooo important. It's sad when some people have lost touch with reality, that you can't help them because they just take your thoughts the wrong way. I've recently had to walk away from people in my life too. And they weren't necessarily bad people, but there comes a point where you want to just be happy and not worry about walking on eggshells all the time.

Girls Love Fried Pickles said...

I always tell people that living with regret is the best thing that could happen as humans for regrets teach us our lessons in mistakes.

Love you!


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