Monday, October 13, 2014

The Marriage Advice I Live By

I have been given a lot of advice in my life, and unlike most, I soak up every bit of it. The good as well as the bad can teach you about life and humanity, as long as you can decipher between the two. My favorite advice, though, involves anything to do with marriage. No matter how much love you have, it takes effort and communication to find the fairy tale.


You may find this hard to believe, but a preacher bestowed this gem upon us:
"When you and your spouse are in a fight, juuuust get nekid. No fight can last when someone's in their Adam & Eve suit." Amen to that brotha'!

And the other bit that runs through my mind constantly is the idea that Our husbands aren't out to get us. When I first started blogging I followed a lovely blogger named Megan, and one day she retold a story about a fight she had with her husband. She shared it because it made her come to the realization that her husband was not out to get her, even though we all seem to jump to that conclusion. It makes marriage so much easier when you connect the dots and realize that your spouse isn't trying to piss you off when they do things like leave the dog food container open, leave his drawers on his dresser wide open {ahem...obviously my pet peeves}, or any old thing that happens during an argument really.

To add my two cents, I list off the wonderful things about my husband when I'm upset, which allows me to calm down before I 'communicate' my issues and maintain a level head. Try it, it's really hard to be mad at someone while you think about how hard they work for your little family, that they work on your truck, pose for all your couples pictures, do the dishes, and specifically ask to have dinner and date nights with you while other husbands go to happy hour. I'm not saying you should just forget about your problem, but don't approach it with the mindset that he's 'out to get you' or even wrong. There is no right and wrong person in a marriage as long as you put each other first and care about the needs of one another.

What is your favorite marriage advice?
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23 comments:

Kenzie Smith said...

Those are all wonderful tips - thanks for sharing! I can definitely agree that it is hard to be upset with your other half if he is naked or after you have listed his many wonderful qualities! I am going to have to keep both of those things in mind :D

P!nky said...

You are such the relationship whisperer. I remember the first time I heard the nekkid comment, at a friends bachey party, I had to laugh because it made sooo much sense.

And, I remember how dumbfounded I felt when you first told me "he's not out to get you". Ummm...hello, light bulb!!!!! That text really made me sit back and thing about things from Le Husband's view { obviously, before he was Le Husband, haha}. Sometimes, dudes just don't get it and that's it, they aren't trying to make us mad or upset.

I love you and your amazing heart and advice! Have a fabulous week!

Helene in Between said...

I love this!! these are all so good. but I love the idea to get nekkid!! that's just so true and so funny that it came from a preacher!

Niken said...

i've never got that naked tips before - i'll remember that.

Niken said...

i've never got that naked tips before - i'll remember that.

Niken said...

i've never got that naked tips before - i'll remember that.

Katie said...

I needed to hear this - thank you!

Jen said...

The best advice I have received regarding marriage is that it's work and don't stop working at it. :)

The Jessa Olson Blog said...

This is great advice. I've heard this before.

Fran @ Sassy Southern Bride said...

I love love love this post, Janna!! I think the best advice I've heard is from Dr. Phil and is that some problems are managed and not fixed. Dr. Phil also says you can be right or you can be married.

Pamela said...

Love the picture &advice! :)

Cece said...

I love all of it! It's funny because I adopted the he's not out to get you thing myself just as a coping mechanism and it does help. It helps you redirect the negative emotions into a more constructive way.

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

Such really great advice. I have messed that up a time or two in past relationships.

Katelynn Sue said...

hahaha that's some seriously amazing advice!!! greattttt advice, Miss Janna!

Nicole said...

the nekkid one actually cracked me up, not going to lie...

♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

Best advice ever!!! Thanks for the tip chicka, Love the picture by the way!!!

Kelly said...

I am still working on finding a guy but when I get there I will come back and let you know :)

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

justliveitblog said...

Ha! I love the advice that pastor gave you and your husband... I'll have to remember that one. ;)
And my parents told me and my husband, when we got married, to make sure that we never went to bed angry. We should always remember that we were on the same side and resolve issues that night, even if it was just a hug and a kiss to put off the discussion for another day.
My hubby and I rarely fight, but - when we do - we remember that and it really does work. :)

Jenn said...

These pieces of wisdom are the best ones I've seen yet. I love the idea that he's not out to get you, and listing off the things you love about them before attempting to communicate. Awesome advice that I will be taking to heart :)

Jessi @ Jessi's Design said...

Janna this is so great! (especially the preacher's quote at the start of course- my hubby will love that) Great post! xoxo

Jamie said...

My Mom told me one time "Just jump his bones"... I threw up a little in my mouth

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

We had a preacher give us the same advice, haha!

Also, I do the exact same thing you do. When I'm frustrated or upset, I always go through a list of the wonderful things about him and all the reasons I love him. That helps me be a lot more level headed when we talk out whatever I'm upset about. :)

Jean said...

brady once asked me why i never yelled back at him, but to me, it made no sense. i mean, i'll talk, but really am not the yeller because tmrw, i might just say sorry so i may as well not yell. i think he has learned from that.

but so funny, just get naked. makes me giggle. but so true, they're not out to get us and we're not out to get them.

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