Friday, May 10, 2013

An Old Grudge.

About five years ago, my family had a storage unit.
It held expensive furniture, art pieces, and even my mother's high end couture. One would think that it would be important to protect the treasures within, and yet...
My mother just stopped paying the bill. Maybe she forgot, maybe she didn't care, or perhaps she was having one of her vindictive moments that always ends in something bad. All that I know, is that I had my treasures in there too. Photos from my childhood, furniture that my parents bought me that was supposed to last me forever, family heirlooms, and even knick knacks that my grandfather made me before he passed away.
All gone.
I cried and cried and allowed a grudge to distance myself from my mother about it, a lesson learned. She was human, and makes mistakes just like us all, albeit a pretty darn big one. Now, enough time has passed  that the loss has become less and less prevalent, and I've learned that you can live without every material possession, memories or not. Would it be nice to have those pictures, to have that furniture with me today, and to display the knick knacks? Yes, but that's  just not an option.



We are creating new moments every day, every time we move, and to be honest, all of our "things" are what makes the moves hard and weighs us down. When I think that I can't part with a particular object, I remind myself that I can live without anything. Slowly we are cleaning out our house to make our lives less cluttered, and it feels good. Less is more.



I'm thinking that newlyweds always end up going through this. Combining both partners things, gifts from the wedding, over purchasing to decorate the first (or second) home, and random "stuff" that you collect in the beginning are bound to pile up before you know it. At least it's only taking us three years to realize that we don't need that George Foreman grill, enough food for the zombie apocalypse, or three of the same thing- i.e. Magic Bullet, Stick Blender, and food processor. I still don't want to get rid of the food processor.

Who knows when our next move will be, so it's game on in regards to downsizing. I even told Will that he can pocket the money he makes selling ANYTHING that isn't nailed down in this house. Let's just say, he's rollin' in the dough lately. I've also sold furniture that we weren't quite done with yet, and guess what? We are surviving without that one extra dresser. The best part is that we are donating along the way too. I have taken truckloads of stuff to our local God's Pantry and it feels SO good. I like this particular place because they give stuff directly to those in need, and that's where it should go.

I also plan on selling some of my nicer clothes and accessories again soon, so I may share them on here or on that site called Poshmark. I have an entire closet ROOM, and have no business having that many clothes. I love them all dearly, but it's time for a closet cleansing. Less is more, less is more, less is more. Haha
It's either that or another year of no spending. We shall see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I almost turned comments off today, but then I wondered, would you rather me post and turn comments off or just not post at all? Sometimes, I have a specific comment about a post that has comments turned off and then I feel let down when I can't share, or other times, I'm annoyed that I wasted my time reading a post when I can't comment. Mostly I understand that a blogger probably needs time to catch up on emails, wants to share something without having a backlash, or simply just needed to clear their mind. I'm not promising I'll never post with the comments off, but I am curious how bloggers feel about it.

Happy Friday, peeps. It's about dayuum time!


30 comments:

P!nky said...

OH sweet friend, i can totally understand being upset about losing memories. I get what you are saying about creating new memories, but tactile objects of our past can be important to.

I'm one of those almost newlyweds that is suffering the registry drama of what do we need and what do I just WANT! UGH it stinks. And I am having to downsize too, since C and I are moving in together after the wedding :)!

It's your prerogative to post with or without comments, I'd just email ya ;)!

Happy military spouse appreciation day! love you! xoox

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

It doesn't make me upset when bloggers turn comments off, but it does bum me out that they don't know that I am here and listening. In some ways, it's like having a conversation with someone, but never giving them a chance to respond to what you have to say. Which sometimes is really okay because you just need to SAY SOMETHING and really don't need to hear a response. So yeah, it doesn't upset me... just makes me hope that the author knows that I'm here and listening/reading. :)

Also, I am so sorry about the loss of all your family things. I can imagine how difficult it was to let that go. I know how much it hurts to hold a grudge for a long time, though. I'm glad you are letting go of stuff. Christopher and I have the same philosophy that you do. It's just stuff. We can live without it. I think that's always been easy for me because we moved around so much when I was growing up. Everything I owned in the world fit into one giant suitcase when I came to college. And it's easy for Christopher because his parents held on to EVERYTHING and he didn't want to be like that. Anyway, I'm sorry that this is the longest comment of all time. Apparently I had a lot to say, ha!

Nicole said...

Haha I woke up yesterday thinking it was Friday... so yeah I agree with the last comment. :)

Alana Christine said...

Okay, I definitely needed this today. My SD card in my phone decided to delete all of my pictures and videos...which a large majority of them were of Baby C laughing and crawling. I have cried and cried and cried about it because I lost stuff that was so important to me. But you're right--they're only pictures/videos. I will always have the memories. Thank you!!

Annie B. said...

Good for you for getting rid of stuff! It's freeing, isn't it? And especially being a military wife, you definitely need to be flexible when it comes to moving, and how much you can take with you.

I feel like I always go through my things and get rid of a good amount, and then a month or so later, seem to have accumulated more things - WHAT?!

Keep it up! You're completely right - we don't need "things"

Meredith said...

I have been very specific with things on our wedding registry for that very reason, its stuff and we don't need anything more or extra. We've lived away from our families and together for a while and have piles of stuff we moved into the house we're in 2 years ago and haven't touched. I'm selling it. I made a promise to myself that when we move We're not taking anything we don't need or use regularly. I want us to start our marriage new and fresh.

Megan Wadsworth said...

The best part about the Army is getting to declutter when you move. We purge during packing and purge again when we arrive, it's fantastic. Sometimes it's hard to realize how much shit you have actually acquired over the last few years until you have to move it.

Jen said...

We always purge when we move, it has become a ritual that if we know we are moving, we go through everything and pitch stuff. It helps so much!

Kenzie Smith said...

I can guarantee you that I would have held a grudge, and would probably hold it for another five years. So, kudos to you for realizing that you need to put it behind you and focus on the memories you are making now! It's easy to get so caught up in a grudge or in the past that you let the present slip right by you.
I need to purge so, so bad. It's so funny the things you wind up collecting! Especially with garage sale season coming up, I definitely need to 'out with the old and in with the new'! Although I will never, ever part with my books or nail polishes. ;D
I hope that you have an amazing weekend!
XOXO

Nicole said...

What a personal story, thank you for sharing. It's hard sharing family stuff on the internet. I routinely clean out closets and stuff, to get rid of all of the excess we don't need. I don't forsee us moving anytime in the near future, but I still like to keep the clutter out.

Cece said...

I'd cry and cry too. That's is very disappointing. I lot 1 journal out of about 13 that was stored at my parents house and I was upset about that. I'm a clothes hoarder. There are some things I KNOW I should get rid of but it's soooo hard. Good for you for taking some action on that. As for comments off. It's a mixed bag for me. It's kinda weird to get to the end and not be able to comment if you want to but I'm ok with it. I never turn mine off. I don't get enough comments that it's too hard to keep up with. Don't feel bad about not responding to every single comment. : )

Jenn said...

I think your attitude on the whole thing is great! It's so hard to let go of "stuff" sometimes, especially when you don't have a choice in the matter, but you're right. You don't need things, just the people in your life who you care about and care about you. You can make do with a lot less "stuff" than you think you need.

I love donating stuff...it makes me feel good. Like I cleaned out MY stuff and Im helping someone else. Too cool!

Cassie @ Live.Laugh.L0ve. said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your things. I know I would have held a grudge & I'm not even big on holding onto materialistic things but, I have a few items I would be devastated about.

I'm happy your are letting go of the grudge & de cluttering. I do that several times a year! Lol, like I said I'm not a fan of too much stuff! I hope your weekend is great! xoxo

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I imagine this must have been cathatcis in many ways...letting go of the stuff. Regarding grudges, they do mroe damage to us than the people to wom they're directed against don't they?

Kristine said...

I would be a wreck if all those memories of mine were gone so I can totally relate to holding a grudge because I'd be the same way.

Blush and Barbells said...

I'm moving at the end of the month and am trying to de-clutter as much as possible - good luck to you!

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I know things are things, but I am sentimental as hell about that stuff and I would have a hard time getting over it too.

I've never thought of turning comments off.

Miss Rachel M. said...

Janna, you have such a beautiful spirit! It takes a strong, special person to let go of a grudge. I agree 100% about collecting memories, not things!

The times we spend with the ones we love mean sooo much more than any tangible keepsake we could manufacture.

Love you bunches!

Cody Doll said...

I totally understand about loosing stuff. But by loosing it I also gained the understanding that I need to live with less so that I can move forward.
I think that getting stuff off your chest is good. I also think it's your idea to keep comments on or off. This subject I believe on. It's nice to hear that others went through the same thing and to know there are people out there that care, like me.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Oh I totally get how upsetting that can be... sometimes even though we want to say that material possessions aren't important they still hold memories to them, ya know?

I'm big on getting rid of things though. I used to hold onto EVERYTHING but seriously sometimes there is no need to hold onto a dress you haven't worn in 6 years or a broken jewelry box.

Amber said...

Oh, I can understand why you'd be upset! I tend to hold onto sentimental things too. However, I'm good at getting rid of things I don't NEED too. De-cluttering is good for the soul!

Kelly @ makingmaynardmemories said...

I cannot express how much I love this post. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your things, but am happy that you are letting go of that grudge as grudges only weigh us down. I am a HUGE advocate of simplicity, no-clutter, only buying what we need (but not quite in a pioneer 1800's kind-of-way) and donating whenever possible. My husband is a totally different story! He loves stuff. When we got married it took over a year to organize and eventually clear out his clutter (with his permission). Over time, he has realized the benefits of living clutter-free and only buying what is needed. I feel so relaxed coming home to our clutter-free home. Also, the money we made from selling things on craigslist was pretty awesome too. :)

Jayme and Mendi said...

We both go through times when we just have the urge to purge! Mendi just did that at her house and I'm in the process now. :-)

Jayme & Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings

smk053078 said...

Oh lady, that is so sad that you lost all those things, but you are so right...collect memories. You have such a HUGE heart and you can see it through your writing and posts. Sometimes we must just forgive and move on...grudges only hold us back. xoxo

HickChickBritt said...

Oh my gosh, that sucks so bad about the storage unit! But it is so true that possessions are not life. It is so hard to remember that sometimes though!

Constanza Valentina Pav├ęz Marin said...

Nicce pics!

xx

http://unromanceconlamoda.blogspot.com/

Susannah said...

It can be so devistating to lose things that have sentimental meaning but, as you said, those things aren't what truly matters! Thanks for that perspective!

Jean said...

i have posted with comments off. sometimes i just need to let things off my chest. i just want to be heard and not hear anything back. i don't take it personally that anyone turns their comments off. i understand it can be overwhelming to read x-amount of comments. i was sad that a blogger recently turned their page to private. that's more sad than comments off. but i get over it.

growing up, my father taught us not needing materialistic things and i am grateful for that. you don't need all that stuff. i remember brady and i received a lot of stuff when we moved in... we may have given away a few little things (like the gorge foreman grill) and don't miss it. a lot of our furniture when we moved in were given by friends & family... we were so thankful.

less is the new more! :)

Kim said...

Less IS more! I try to purge every so often. It makes me feel 10lbs lighter every time! :)

Kate @ Daffodils said...

ONe thing I love about the military life is purging every two years! We just finished going through the house throwing away/selling/donating anything that I did not want to move with us. If we were so transient, I think I would hoard so much stuff!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...