My Family Says The Darndest Things

I'm in Pensacola again, SURPRISE! I'm getting in one last visit before I get my sexy soldier back, and soaking up every minute home. Today, I want to share some great memories that have been  made in the form of hilarious statements by my wonderfully-zany family. Not only am I cracking up over them, I'm happy I'll have these memories forever. Daddy and I even built a table, but that'll have to wait until another day.

Throwback from 2010 or '11? Ignore Paula's panty shot.

Don't they look fun? Oh just wait...

I had a breakfast date with my baby brother (Marc) and his BFF (Adam) at Golden Corral. Obviously, it was the perfect setting for the following convo...
Adam: Do you like, burp or fart?
Me: Heck yeah, I get giddy when I can fart on Will, and get him back for doing it to me.
Marc: I have the best sister ever.

Grandma's neighbor: Who was over at your house?
Grandma: My gran'baby.
Neighbor: But I saw a truck...
Grandma: Isn't that something? She's a girl and drives a truck!

Great Aunt Margaret: So dahlin', where are you working at now?
Me: I'm not.
Great Aunt Margaret: That's wonderful! You got you a good man {winkwink}.

Mama: Look! There's a Kitchenaid on QVC!
Me: This one from Brad's Deals is less than $200.
Mama: I need this one because it has higher wattage.
Me: Okay, then how about this one, still under $200 and has an even higher wattage.
Mama: I need the extra attachments too.
Me: Yep, we've got those too.
Mama: Brad's Deals isn't QVC and doesn't have an app.
Me: Is this even about the mixer or because you want to use your new app?
Mama: Now just you hush, {insert extra Southern drawl} I need to figure this app out.

Me: Marc and his friends are surprised that hanging with me is like hanging with any of their friends, and not someone ten years older. I said proudly.
Dad: So basically he's calling you old....
Me: Well, I hadn't thought of it that way. Hangs head in shame.

Grandma on being old and having a daughter 'take care of her': I done got'a new momma. My momma died, and now I gotta new momma and this'uns worse. So bossy.

Here is just a proud moment of mine...and yes, I have an Aunt Boots.
Grandma on the phone with Aunt Boots: Well, I've lost two pounds in three days! You see, I have a grand daughter that is hypoglycemic so she has to eat healthy. I've been eating the way she eats, and I'm feeling better than I have since Weight Watchers!

But the best, was when I was talking to my Aunt and Uncle about Will and I eloping and how the whole family reacted upon receiving the news.
Me: Grandma, do you remember what you said?
Grandma: No m'am.
Me: You said, and I quote, "I'm just glad you aren't livin' in sin anymore."
Cue laughing from everyone, including Grandma.

Anyone who doesn't live near family knows that when you go home to visit you are more of a guest to entertain, than just a regular member of the family like you used to be. However, when you spend almost a month reacquainting yourself, it ends up feeling like you never left. Only now, everyone gets along, we are all grown, and we actually cherish the time together. Like the whole family going for Marc's Senior pictures...

Don't ask me how I ended up in the pictures especially since I had nappy hair that day, but for what my parents paid for these pictures, we should have had the entire family in them. I'm talking extended family. Like seriously, since when did getting senior pictures start costing more than wedding photography? Sheesh. He's lucky he's worth it, and I'm lucky he wasn't 'too cool' to take pictures with his big sis.

All the precious moments add up to a lifetime of happiness.