Monday, February 2, 2015

I'm Not 'Military' Enough



I've always been interested in Freelance Writing even before I began blogging, and I even had a poem published when I was in middle school. Since I started blogging I realized how easy it is to write on the interwebs, and I've been blessed to branch out with my writing. I pursue free and paid writing based on what I have a passion for, and in spite of getting less jobs than I apply for, I truck on because I know that a 'no' isn't always a bad thing. However, a few months ago I applied to write for a Military blog/website that shall remain nameless, and I was quite surprised when they told me that my blog wasn't 'Military focused enough' for their liking. Um...Essssqueeeeze me? I feel like I overdo it talking about military life AND I was offering my services for their site. Not mine.

I'm pretty sure they didn't even visit my blog, because you all know my world revolves around Will and therefore the military, but even if they did they could have at least asked for a writing sample or given me a chance. I was offering to write for FREE for gosh sakes. I've been turned down countless times, but when it's by other military spouses telling me that I'm not 'military enough', it's pretty hurtful. They claim to be an amazing site for military families to provide support, but they don't practice what they preach.




Maybe I let it bother me too much, but when Lauren and Jo mentioned that we should all speak out against spouse shaming, this was the first thing that came to mind. It's just an example of how some spouses have this hierarchy that they judge all MilSpouses by and it bothers me. We should all be supporting each other instead of comparing rank, claiming one branch is better than another, judging others for not having kids (and vice versa), labeling anyone a dependapotomous, or telling someone that they aren't 'military enough'.

I dedicate this to ALL the wonderful military spouses I know. I try to answer all military related questions and probably offer up more advice than I should, but I want to make sure that I can share my knowledge and love in the way that I've been shown. However, I would also like to thank all of you reading because your kind words and support help me more than you know. This life isn't easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.






19 comments:

P!nky said...

You are an incredible SPOUSE and an amazing MilSpouse. I've heard so many horrible spouse issues that people experience in the military and it makes no sends to me. We [all military dependents] should all be building each other not creating a hierarchy. My mom has told me stories about back in her day of being a MilSpouse on base and it's so sad.

I'm sorry they were rude, they had no right to say what they said. You support your man unconditionally and have endured many nights without him because of work. Thank you for being a military spouse and for supporting our country!

I love you, lots! But, you knew that ;)!

Caravan Sonnet said...

While I read your blog often I do not comment nearly as much as I should but I had to today! My mouth literally dropped open when I read your post! One of the things that I have LOVED about your blog is your writing about the military and your life as a military spouse. To me you are one of a handful of milspouse bloggers who compassionately, respectfully, and courageously write about life while being incredibly hopeful and joyous. I am not a military spouse but have lived in various military towns and have family members who have served in the military. I am also apart of Adopt-a-Platoon, an organization that supports military servicemen and women. MANY times from your blog I have learned things to help me be a better supporter. You TRULY are an inspiration and to me it is a sad loss for that organization/blog/writing site that they have not chosen you to be a contributor. TRULY their loss.

I can empathize with the "sting" of this type of rejection as last year I was "let go" from a blog group because after they had done "extensive research on my blog I didn't write enough" for their time committments. I, like you, am a writer outside of my blog and have been turned down many times so I wasn't hurt or offended by that. I WAS hurt by the fact that they said they had "done extensive research of my blog" and didn't acknowledge that the reason that I was only posting once or twice a week instead of the required 3 times was because I was in treatment for Cancer and Lyme Disease. When I tried to approach them about this and discuss it I was told "no circumstance should matter". It was probably one of the most difficult rejections,and like I said I relate to you being rejected for writing many times! *smiles*

As I look back on that situation and yours I shake my head sometimes at this sometimes funny space of websites/blogs. I hope, that like me, this rejection will only serve to spur you on to continue to help others who are going through similar things that you are. You ARE an encouragement to so many and I hope that the hurt disappears in the knowledge of this truth.

Sending hugs your way!
Blessings,
Rebecca
www.caravansonnet.com

Jo MyGosh said...

I understand a company or organization wanting to project their brand a particular way, but the phrase "not military enough" is one that seems to be underneath a lot of military spouse interactions. Am I not military enough because my husband wasn't kicking down doors in Afghanistan (although he was on a base that had rockets shot at them)? Are National Guard spouses not military enough? What about those who rarely deploy? Or deploy to "safe" areas that aren't war zones?

It's so silly (and hurtful to those families and spouses) to create those striations. We all may have different experiences, but we all understand the sacrifice we make and the sacrifice our spouses make on behalf of our country. That's "military enough."

Mallory said...

Oh puhhhhleeeaaasseeee. If being our own person and having our own interests makes us "not military enough" then I don't want to be. They need to reevaluate their standards because loving our husbands and our country is more than "military enough." Geesh. Dingdongs.

You are a fantastic and supportive wife and a great representation of what an Army wife is: a strong, beautiful, confident lady.

Jenn said...

I can't believe that they would say that to you, for one, and if they actually thought that, why didn't they ask for a writing sample or something? It's a bit ridiculous and hypocritical, and we know how much I hate a hypocrit! I applaud you for standing up and saying something, because it's not right. You're an amazing spouse, and you do write about the military, your experiences, etc. Who are they to tell you it's not "enough"? Ugh!

Helene in Between said...

The "rules" some of these sites come up with are crazy. Honestly, it's their loss! Just sorry you had to go through that!

Amanda said...

Ugh. This is such a tough group to be in sometimes. But we should all just let people live. It's totally that websites loss. You don't write about the military everyday. But then again, why would you? It's just a small portion of your life... bigger and better things await you lady!

Jen said...

That is completely ridiculous!

Blush and Barbells said...

Good grief, what a ridiculous response you received from that website. I'm sorry! You rock, you don't need them anyway. So there!!

AiringMyDirtyLaundry said...

I got a response like that before. I do write about military stuff, but it's not my entire life. However, I did get my work on Military Spouse, so I was proud of that. Keep trying! It'll happen!

Lauren Tamm said...

It's discouraging to hear that you were told you are not "military" spouse enough. I'm so glad you are sharing this story. It's an important one. We all need to encourage each other. Blogging is a tough place sometimes but it can also be very rewarding. I've discovered so many friends I would've never known otherwise through the military spouse blogging community. Thrilled to connect with you!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

Whaaaat?! That's just crazy. You talk about military life and Will all the time! I bet you're right that they didn't even look at your blog. *eye roll* I'm so sorry they said that to you, though. :( For the record, you are a great wife and such a wonderful supporter of Will and his role in the military. You are the definition of a great Military Spouse!

♥ ♥ Just a Girl in Love w/ a Soldier ♥ ♥ said...

That's ├│utragro├║s there's no way your not military enough, don't worry if that's the case it simply wasn't meant to be and bigger and better things are in store for you!!!

Christy Ashley said...

I'm not a military spouse but I work for an organization that serves military families and my husband went to a university that was primarily military, so a lot of our friends are service members (and their spouses).

I can tell you that your blog is the only MilSpouse blog I read because it's the only one I've come across where the writer's identity isn't solely about being a military spouse. Being a military spouse is a challenge, I know that, but your blog is about YOU, and I love that.

You don't want to be associated with anyone that even believes there is such a thing as "military enough." So, keep at it, hold your head up and find something better!

Kenzie Smith said...

That is positively outrageous. You are both an amazing wife and an amazing military spouse. They must not have looked at your blog because it is so clear how much you love and support Will. I can think of a handful of your posts off the top of my head where you showed an enormous amount of support for Will and his accomplishments. If you ask me, that site is not good enough for YOU ♥

Heather W said...

I am newer to your blog. First, you and your husband are just a gorgeous couple and through the photos I love the pride for your soldier that absolutely shines through. That last photo of him holding you...it really tugs at my heart. I love it.

Also - your intro - the blonde part...ahhh been there. The not looking the age part, had that, too.

I think I know which site to which you refer (that of course shall remain nameless ;) ) and what a shame they lost out on such a powerful voice. Completely and utterly her, umm, their loss.

This means there are better things in store and people more worthy of your company and your writing. Cheers to you and your soldier.

Kimberly said...

Love how you made your point with a beautiful photo collage!

Kathryn B said...

Wow! I cannot believe they said you weren't military enough! Crazy!!! Love the pictures!!!!

Brittney {The Military Wife Life} said...

This post is beautiful. I can't believe they said that about your blog!!! I'm a newbie here, but I poked around a bit (CONGRATS ON BEING PREGNANT, BY THE WAY!! :D) and I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with your writing or the content on your blog! I definitely would've hired you if it were up to me. Oh well, their loss :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I love your blog and I'm glad I found you through the link-up!!

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