I Fell In Love With His Sense Of Humor

And today, I will show you a peek into how he makes me laugh on a daily basis. Get some tissues, because you may laugh till you cry. Just sayin'.

Will: What are you doing?
Me: Documenting the funny shit you say for the blog.
Will: I never agreed to this, you trollop.
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Will: Where's the remote? Move your big butt.

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Will: When you're gone {read: dead}, I'm going to buy every car I've ever wanted.
Me: You know I plan on dying first, so what you do with the money is all on you.
Will: Don't worry, I'll leave them to your brother when I die.
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Will: You know how I know I love you? I went makeup shopping on MY Birthday.
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Will: So what is Universal gonna do with the Harry Potter park now that the movies are done?
Me: Um...it's never not going to be a 'thing'.
Will: But there aren't anymore books either?
Me: And you call yourself a Harry Potter fan, tsktsk. You think you know a guy...
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Will: I kinda love you.
Me: I kinda love you too.
Will: I know, I just have to keep you in check or you will get a big head.
Me: You better love me.
Will: Of course I do, remember that time in 2010 where I said I love you?
Me: You mean the time I told you I loved you and you didn't say it back?
Will: No that was 2008, and you sprung that on me. I meant the time we got married, now you are just making it weird.
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Will: I just need you to be cold, because if you're cold, I'm comfortable.
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Me: I don't get as mad like I used to because you've calmed me down.
Will: You're welcome.
Me: No, you're welcome.
Will: I feel like you walked me into that...

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Me: Have you ever been in a helicopter?

Will: How do you think we got everywhere while we were deployed?

Me: {Hangs head in shame} Wow...what a blonde moment.
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On the way to Denny's after we called the cops on our drunk neighbors...

Will: You can speed through here. All the cops are all at our house.
Buck: There were only 2 cop cars.
Will: That's all the cops Fountain has.
Upon reaching Denny's...

Will: The cops were just at my house.
The hostess: You must be doing illegal things at your house.
Will: What I do at my house is my business.
Hostess: Booth or table.
Will: Both.
Hostess: {takes us to a half booth with chairs}
Will: Well played, madam.

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Will: I wanna do pizza tomorrow night.
Me: Okie doke
A half hour later....
Will: And I want a burger.
Me: Ok
Will: But we can't do them in the same day.
Me: Well technically, we can get a cheeseburger pizza from Papa Johns'.
Will: Don't change the subject- I want Cheeburger Cheeburger. {exasperated sigh} Great, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight thinking about Pizza and burgers!
Me: Good job, champ.
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Neighbor: {Revs engine}
Me: Seriously, where is he going?
Will: He's a 20 something year old man, he's going out. Calm down.
Me: {dumbfounded look}
Will: First of all, it's 9:30 and we used to go out late at night too. Second of all, quit acting like you are a 60 year old woman, and calm the eff down.
Me: Takes one to know one.
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Joel: Why do I burn myself on pizza EVERY time?
Will: I used to be that way, but since I don't have the fortitude to wait for pizza to cool on my own, my wife just won't let me have it until it's cooled.
Joel: If only I had someone to care about me that much.

And here's why I wonder how this SAHW thing will go...

Will: It's your responsibility as a SAHW to keep me fed.
Me: I'm still working for another month.
Will: FEED ME.
Will: Oh, and my second stipulation is that your uniform is a bikini.
Me: So what happens if I say no?
Will: You get a write-up.
Me: Three write-ups and I'm fired?
Will: No, silly. Three write-ups and you lose an article of clothing.
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Will: For the first time since I met you, I'll be making more money so you do as I say.

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Will: You need to stop stressing about the move, and start worrying about what you are making me for dinner.
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Will: You owe me big time, SAHW.

Me: Huh?

Will: I packed our moving truck in below zero temps.

Me: Exhibit A- I was outside packing and cleaning in zero temps too, and B- this move is for your career not mine.

Will: Well, I'm your boss now so my career pays your salary.
Me: Seriously?

On the flip side...

Will: {opens the fridge} You already bought and re-stocked beer?
Me: Yep.
Will: I apologize for underestimating you, madam.
Me: Don't let it happen again.
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Will: Woah...you're really painting.
Me: What did you think was going to happen after we shopped for paint and primer at Lowe's?
Will: I thought it was going to be a project we planned on doing that never actually happens.
Me: Now that I'm an SAHW I can do things like this.
Will: That is a very valid statement. I happen to love all of your projects, and I'm just happy that I don't have to be the one doing it.
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Will: Where are you going?
Me: To check the laundry, make you lunch, and set the coffee maker.
Will: That sounds like a lot of work.
Me: You are a lot of work.
Will: I find that it's a yin and yang kind of thing. I outweigh the negatives with the positives.
Me: One of the hardest jobs I have is keeping your negatives in check.
Will: That's why I married you. Duh.
At least he knows...

At least I can say that there is never a dull moment in our house. He's been making me laugh since 2007, and it's a good thing, because I find a sense of humor extremely sexy. 

How 'bout you?