Monday, March 23, 2015

I Need Your Input

When I told my mom I was pregnant, she started asking me a million questions about all things baby, and it was one of the few times in my life I had to say "I don't know." Those of you that know me, know that's just not a phrase in my vocabulary, and she was particularly taken aback. I guess I've always been a bit of a know it all, but when it comes to this...it's a whole new territory. For the first time in my life, I'm pretty stumped. Perhaps the first picture we took together the day we found out is illustrative of how unprepared we feel...


Obviously, I'm devouring every pregnancy book, turning to any friend or family member that has a kid, and scouring the internet for articles, but I kind of trust you guys more than most. Whether you are a parent, sibling, or just have experience with kids, feel free to answer. I reserve the right to make my own choices, but ALL advice is helpful one way or another.

As a couple, what should we do before baby comes that we "won't be able to do?" I don't plan on changing our life completely and just plan on incorporating her into plans the way our families have always done with us, but I still realize that things will change. Plus, it just seems like a fun thing to share during this time. I'm thinking a baby bucket list should have stuff like run a 5k, visit a B&B, romantic dates, and whatnot, but we've already done these things while knocked up so please help me come up with some more ideas.

What are your must haves for baby? Everyone has a different opinion as to what the 'must haves' should be, so I want to know what all your must haves are.

Your best advice? I've gotten everything from use a boppy to avoiding peanut butter in the third trimester. {Did you stop eating peanut butter?} I know some people don't want everyone's two cents, but I think every experience can teach you something.

Non- baby related:
  Can you see the buttons/widgets on my sidebar bouncing? I click onto my blog, and they are bouncing like some Mexican jumping beans. It could just be a glitch on my end, but it's annoying the shizz out of me and when I google it all I get is information about bounce rates.

I know we will be fine. I mean, I knew nothing about buying a home or renting it out and we learned all that in six months. This is just the next life adventure, and the most meaningful one we will ever get to have. I may have a few small mental breakdowns along the way, but I think that's quite normal. Right? Please tell me that's normal...


22 comments:

Ashleigh said...

Pregnant? Wait! What? I think I missed the memo until just now...

I am so so excited for you girlie... EEK! That is wonderful!

P!nky said...

Oh girl, that picture is so precious and so y'all! I love it, just absolutely love it. There are no jumping buttons on my end, lady!

I think you should get as much sleep as you want, be as spontaneous as possible and enjoy dinners out. I hear all of that is pretty much gone the first month or so with a new bambina.

Love you! Have a great Monday, friend!

Jenn said...

I think everyone probably feels like you do to some level--even if you were totally prepared for it, there's the level of "oh wow! this actually happened" and makes you realize how unprepared you are anyway.
I obviously have no relevant advice for you, but I'd say keep doing what you're doing (devouring books/information) and enjoying the time you two have together as just you two! :)

Quiana Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quiana Michelle said...

SLEEP, date nights as often as possible, enjoy the time the two of you have together. Remind yourselves even after she's born that you need to communicate, make each other a priority, and remember that you're both doing this for the first time, so neither of you will be perfect. Don't let the possible differences in opinion tear you apart, but let it bring you closer when she arrives. Date nights will happen after, because you'll make time for yourselves just definitely not right away! So enjoy just being "two"!

As for must haves, when my daughter was born 8 months ago, our favorite product was the Fisher-Price rock and play sleeper. Perfect for travel and even moving throughout the house. My other favorite for her has been a white noise machine. Also my advice would be, don't get a bumbo but look up the 'super seat' or the 'mamas and papas' seat, they're safer!

Just always take things a day at a time. No book will fully prepare you because no book was written based on your family or your baby. You might feel like you fail some days, but you won't. You'll wake up the next day and do it all over again, and everything always ends up okay. Lastly, if people offer help; TAKE the help! Accept meals, accept help so you can shower or nap even! Your sanity will need it!

Samantha Curtis said...

Well this is news to me but WOO HOO congrats!!

And girl, everything changes. Not in a bad way.. it just takes a hot minute to find a new normal. I would have a novel to type if I tried to tell you everything you should do before baby comes soooo let me just say this. Enjoy sleeping as much as you can. Sleeping in, napping, whatever.

Enjoy going to the store without any baggage; diapers, nursing covers, toys, snacks, bottles.

Enjoy going to the store, gym, mall, whenever you want to. And staying as long as you want. I would love to just get to walk in and not have to leave because of a tantrum or plan a trip around nap time.

Parenting is the best thing ever... it's just different. Just enjoy your man... love him extra right now. Because once baby comes, it's super hard to find alone time!

Congrats though! Chat me anytime about this stuff.. I'll give it to you real ;)

Jen said...

Such a cute photo though, you are going to be an amazing Mom!

Tiff said...

My recommendations: some kind of carrier... I love the Ergo and still use it at almost 1 year, Nosefrida - sounds gross, but works, halo sleep sacks. Also, if you are planning on breastfeeding, a good double electric pump is great to have. In all honesty though, baby just needs food, clothes, and a place to sleep.

Before your little one gets here, enjoy that things don't have time constraints. Life isn't that much different for me now, B has been to football and baseball games, 5Ks, brunch, happy hour, street festivals, flights and long road trips. It just takes a little more planning and packing.

Curly Girl Confessions said...

Oh the joys! ;) Having a child is the most joyful but most wild and crazy ride y'all will ever endure. I recommend SLEEP! Eat out as much as possible. Let Will have a boys night(s). Take hot baths with a glass of wine (Oh my! Yes, I drank a glass whilst preggo and ate Peanut butter). A lot of people say go to the movies. Go somewhere you have to DRIVE an hour or more because if you have a baby that hates the car you won't want to drive anywhere. Talk about your fears and your expectations of each other IE: do you expect him to wake up with you in the middle of the night? Do you want him to take over "chores" you currently have? ETC. It will help a lot.
As for necessities - ROCK-N-PLAY!!!!!!!!!!! If I could tell parents one thing to buy it would be that. It's easily moved. Fits in the car. Rocks. Inclines (just in case babe has reflux). The best thing ever. The next thing is the MamaRoo. I know it's expensive but it literally saved our lives and our marriage. ;) Your lives will change, but it's the greatest job you will have in this journey we call life.

Pink and Green Mom said...

Someone above said sleep and that would def be my best advice... Always try to sleep when the baby sleeps in the beginning. When they are awake, you can get stuff done while they sit in their swing or car seat. Being well rested makes everything so much easier.

Nikki said...

As a couple, what should we do before baby comes that we "won't be able to do?" Anything that involves late nights. At least this has proven true for us. We have #babybigtruck on a schedule -HIGHLY SUGGEST THIS!- and we try to stick to it. Granted there are days when we go off -its called life!- Typically though unless it is a special occasion we are home and she is in bed by 7:30/8pm the latest.

What are your must haves for baby? Maam binkys, Alex & Anis Blankets -ESPECIALLY in the warm weather! They are super light and get softer with each washing!- Pampers Swaddlers are our favorite diapers! A baby carrier -we actually have 2 a Baby Bjorn and Ergo 360. The Baby Bjorn was great while she was smaller but the Ergo has more wearing options front facing out, front facing in, hip and back!- BOB SE jogging stroller seriously its a beast but it is THE BEST for outside! Sophie the giraffe. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse -seriously its great when you need a few or 20 minnutes to yourself!- Get the book Baby Led Weaning read it and we can chat! We forewent the traditional baby food and #babybigtruck eats literally ANYTHING we eat and has been since 4 months.

Your best advice? oh boy! I can go on and on about what worked for us. HOWEVER I won't but please feel free to hit me up with ANY questions you may have!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

No sidebar buttons jumping! So either it's fixed or it was just on your end? Either way, it's good here. :)

Girl, you are going to be a great mom. You will ease into it just like the house stuff!

Helene in Between said...

I dont have any cool advice because I've never been a mom but I think just trust your gut! you guys are too cute!

Kate @ Daffodils said...

As a couple, just enjoy this time, even if it is spent dreaming and planning for baby. You will not lose each other when she comes, you will just love each other even more.

And yes, I ate peanut butter (and enjoyed a glass of wine or a beer once I hit the first trimester!)

Samantha said...

I would talk to you doctor about the peanut butter and get their advice but the new research that's come out is leaning more toward the fact that babies/toddlers aren't exposed soon enough to peanut butter that may be one of the reasons for the rise in severe peanut allergies in kids. (along with many other factors and theories) but nothing I've read on it suggests having peanut butter while pregnant will increase your child's chance of a peanut allergy but I have read some that avoiding it may (I don't know if I believe that, but just passing the info along)

Kathy@RealTalk said...

before we decided to have a baby, we went on an all-out trip, screw the budget! so we headed off to italy for 3 glorious weeks and toured the country. it was AMAZING. then when i was pregnant, we took a 'baby moon' and headed off to antigua. i was 7 months pregnant at the time and it was amazing!

must haves for baby: to tell you the truth, a lot of people spend too much money on infant clothing and stuff they dont need (because they'll grow out of it SO FAST) like shoes etc. yes they are adorable but save your money for when you REALLY need things. newborns spit up all the time or have explosive diapers and basically ruin any cute outfit you have. not to say that you shouldn't get any new outfit but save your $ for the real cute stuff when they're a tad older. so for newborn, i'd stock up on wipes, a lot of those baby cloths, bibs, onesies (including long footed onesies), a grobag (if you plan on baby sleeping in their own crib), digital video monitor (loved mine!).

best advice: don't listen to everything you read/hear. people will always try to ram shit down your throat and the second you have your baby, you suddenly feel inadequate because everyone is doing things differently and hint that you're doing it wrong. there is definitely an adjustment period so trust your instincts. also, i ate peanut butter the whole time and kayla is fine (no allergies). i would have eaten sushi as well but my husband was adament that i didn't (lame).

sorry for this long ass comment!!

Courtney B said...

Peanut butter? I've never even heard of that. Please share the details with that one, ha ha!
Okay, a bucket list is an adorable idea BUT I promise that life won't change to drastically- ONCE you figure out your new routine. Give yourself a few months grace for that one! I thought I would have our new routine down just a week after Mia was born, HA! I was in for a rude awakening with that! It took a few months, some days were better than others, but all the sudden we had our new normal figured out before I realized it! We have traveled and played more since having Mia, than before she was in our lives! So you can absolutely do everything you want to do even with a kid in tow! Take advantage of living close to family and let them babysit once she's older and no longer sleeps in the car seat the whole time. That's one thing we really miss right now. No family to watch Mia and we don't know any babysitters yet here in AZ. I think the only thing I would suggest is get in one last little dream vacation, if you can! We have traveled without Mia but it's no longer totally care free travel. Yes, it was so great to get away together BUT we missed her so terribly at the same time! One last vacation of not having to miss anyone will be a good feeling :)

Also, new babies require very little besides diapers, wipes, blankets, bottles, binkies and cuddles! Get a pump if you're going to nurse. That is a necessity as soon as your milk comes in. So if nothing else, start with the basics and as she grows, you can buy what you need :) (I only say that because we bought everything under the sun before she was born and we didn't even use more of it for the first couple of months, ha ha!) Aiden and Anais blankets are amazing for swaddling (plus they are super light weight, make a great cover for nursing, etc)

Kelly said...

The buttons are not bouncing for me and I hope you are getting great advice!

xx Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

Amanda said...

I feel like you are a lot like me. You like to have things planned and answers to everything. My best advice is to take it one day at a time. Go to the movies. Because that is most definitely hard to do with a baby. We didn't really alter our life when Grace came. We just brought her into it. It is much easier that way. As for must haves. Lots of sleepers and a good swing. We definitely used those items the most. One more piece of advice, if you plan to nurse. Don't give up on it. It's hard for the first 2 weeks, but it gets easier and is so rewarding. You've got this mama!

Katie Gaffney said...

my advice would be to spend as much quality time with your sweetheart as you possibly can.
Also this may sound crazy but try not do too much research as there is sooooo much out there and different opinions, do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that etc. Before my son arrived I had bought endless books, I had been on the internet all day long, purchased so many items that I was told would come in useful, I went to maternity classes where I was taught during labour you need to breath this way, you will need to push that way and so much more. I had purchased all different pads for breastfeeding (and the rest). I thought I was so prepared and to be honest I was scared a tad (due to the endless research I done) and you know when my son arrived everything I had researched went out the door, I didn't use half of what I bought, I didn't push/breath the way I was told during class, I lasted with the breastfeeding for 2 weeks (and that was okay), I learnt so much myself during those first few weeks with him, to be honest I was scared to death, am I holding him right, is he hungry, is he sleeping the right way etc, I was fine and you will be too, my mothering instinct kicked in I guess and I took each day as it comes and for me that was the best way.
Be prepared for some silly arguments during the first few weeks, you become exhausted and no matter how well you get on you will find yourself getting a tad angsty, don't worry that passes, you are both adjusting as we did.
I feel I should stop waffling away here... I agree with the above take it one day at a time and you will be fine... lots of alone time now with Will, plenty of last minute alone time in the bedroom, winkwink (am I okay to say that:)) oh and ps I had a glass of wine in my last trimester and that was okay too!!

Kenzie Smith said...

I really don't think there is all that much that you will no longer be able to do once the baby comes -- you can still go out and about if you have a sitter. I would, however, make sure to spend some quality time pampering each other though.

Some of my must haves were a swing -- that was a lifesaver for us. Also a boppy pillow!

I don't see anything bouncing around :D

Kathryn B said...

Oh you are so normal! I was scared crapless when I was pregnant and I'm learning as I go. You will too. :) That's a great outlook of incorporating her into your lifestyle. We did that with our kids. If we wanted to go out to eat, we did. And now my son can sleep though anything. :) Must haves for a baby are the boppy and a little seat. I used that like no other when mine were little. I would use it when I wanted to take a shower, or needed to get something done. It was portable and they were semi-sitting up so they could see me. I think we got ours from Target. Also, Dr. Brown bottles. Those are amazing! Other than that, each kid was different, so you will just have to find what works for you. Oh! Make sure you have Tylenol on hand for their 1 month check up. Those shots usually bother them and having it already on hand would have been amazing for me. But I have faith, you'll do great and be an amazing mother. It's quite the journey, but worth every moment.
P.S. I don't see anything bouncing.

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