Scene Round 2 of the Choctawhatchee River
Behind The Scene I almost didn't go because of the 'face issue' I'm still having.
How sad is that? I keep asking myself when I became so vain that I'm letting this reaction, symptom, acne, or whatever it is, control my life. It's just...I've never even had acne, so now having this at twenty-eight, and not knowing what this is...it's killing me. I've been to my PCM, OBGYN, Dermatologist, and an esthatician, and not one of them has yet to come up with a clear diagnosis. I could go on for days about what they think it could be, the tests they have me doing, trial and error of products, and the list of medications, but that will just cause me more anxiety, so I'll spare you too. I'm pretty sure I've seemed a bit distant lately, and this is why. I've been overcome with feelings of anxiety from the BC coupled with the steroids, antihistamines, antibiotics, tests, and the fact that none of it has gotten me anywhere. I can't sleep through the night because I'm trying not to touch my face or rub it in the pillow, I don't want to go outside because the humidity definitely makes it worse, I can only put makeup on if I want my eyes and face in general to swell up, and I suffer in silence because I don't want everyone to see how vain I feel. Vain and melodramatic...
As you can see in the pictures, it probably wasn't as noticeable as I thought that day, so I'm happy that I didn't let a few spots on my face hold me back. Obviously, I need to keep that in mind. I have so freakin' much to be thankful for, so I'm trying to focus my attention on the good things- my hubby, Weiser, our healthy family, our new friends, and USA beat Ghana...need I say more? For now, all I can do is soak in the good days, and try not to put so much emphasis on the bad.
My perfect skin is no longer perfect, but if I have to have a health issue, I guess it could be worse. Just cross your fingers this isn't a symptom of PCOS or something worse. I know most of you want us to eventually have babies, and PCOS would definitely be a hindrance in that process. But hey...the struggle is real.