Will Spills All: What A New Dad Is Really Thinking

I've had my dear husband on the blog multiple times when he so sweetly entertains my interviews, but it's usually upbeat and mostly a joking tone. When I came up with a few questions that I thought we would all be interested in a man's perspective, I assumed he would approach it in the same manner. However, I found tears streaming down my face very quickly and in complete shock that he took it so seriously. I'll just let him do the talking...

1. How surprised were you when I told you?
I was pretty much flabbergasted (sweet word, right?), the possibility of you being pregnant literally never crossed my mind. You just kept complaining about how big your boobs were getting, so I naturally kept pretending to be upset too, haha.

2. What were you thinking when we found out how far along we were at the first US?
Definitely pure shock, because it honestly didn't feel real up until that point. Being told is one thing, and seeing it is another...Seeing an almost fully formed mini-me inside you made it very real, very fast. Followed by "What the hell do we do now?"

3. How do you really feel about this pregnancy? I won't get mad, pinky promise.
It's honestly been the first time I have ever thought about money in the long run. She's gonna want fancy stuff and need even more, and we both know that I love toys- the more expensive the better, haha. I also feel kind of left out with school, homework, or studying to do, so I leave you at home all day to plan everything and make decisions for her. Now she's coming in less than two months, and I have no idea how to be prepared or what to do.

4. What makes you the most nervous?
With us finding out so late the doctors gave us several speeches about how not taking prenatals and other medicines that you had been prescribed could affect her growth and development among other things. I am just very thankful Janna isn't a drinker and we are very healthy other than that. My only hope is that she's healthy, and so far she's perfect.

5. What was important from your childhood that you hope to share with our daughter?
SPORTS, lots of SPORTS! Not that I want to force her into anything she doesn't want to do or make her a Tom boy, but I feel sports will help her build self confidence and a positive self image.  Be it from soccer or chess club, I don't care. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I find watching sports boring, I will gladly play any sport at any time, but watching them is just dull aside from the big events. However, growing up playing sports kept me mostly out of trouble, and also made sure I had friends everywhere we went when my family moved every two years with the military. Other than that, I want her to be self sufficient. I was a latchkey kid from about 4th grade on. My parents were gone when I woke up and came home after me in time to make dinner. This forced me to take care of myself, get to school on time, get cleaned up after practice, and make myself snacks when I wanted them. I want her to rely on us, but also be capable of taking care of herself.

6. What are you looking forward to the most?
Probably to her being a toddler, because at that point she will officially be my little minion to train and unleash on the unsuspecting masses, MUHAHAHAHA! Also, Janna seems to have some skewed vision that she has some say in whether or not she becomes a daddy's girl. So, I'm looking forward to seeing how that lifelong battle plays out, should be fun, haha.

7. You've come up with a daddy daughter name, would you like to share?
CHUCK! I know, I'm a genius. I figure she will be around thirteen when she starts begging me to stop greeting her with "What's up, Chuck?" in front of her friends and in public. So of course I will begrudgingly agree to stop, only to absentmindedly continue and blame it on old age.

8. Anything else you'd like to share?
Pizza should be it's own food group. That is all...

I'm going to get really real here...I felt really guilty that Will felt in the dark. I know a big part of it is that he spends every bit of spare time learning to fly helicopters, but I also realize that maybe I underestimated how involved he wanted to be, not to mention I'm terrible at asking for help. I'm sure it's a combination of just being a doer, but I'm ashamed to admit that I don't always trust other people. Part of it is 'If you want it done right, do it yourself', but a big part of it is that I don't trust that people actually want to help when they offer. I figure if they really mean it, they'll just step up and join in like I will, and since most people aren't like that I do a lot by myself. Will steps up a LOT, don't get me wrong, but there are many times I want to ask him to do things, and I don't because I don't want to add more to his plate. He tells me over and over that he will do anything I need, and I should have been trusting him when he said that.

It's still strange for me to refer to Will as a Dad, but he is and I love saying it. Dad, DAD, DADDY!! He has even proven it when he sold his precious GTO to get a Volvo, every time he makes dinner when he can tell I'm tired, when he's attended baby classes, checked out baby books from the library, researched the perfect jogging stroller, helped me pick out the fabric for the crib set, and a million other little gestures. I happen to think that he's probably more prepared than a good bit of expectant fathers, but I have still been working harder to make him more included since I read his responses last month. I know hardly anyone is ever really ready, but I think we've both come along way in a very short time and that's more than enough.